Sunday, 22 January 2012

Giving 110%

Have always thought the expression to 'give 110%' was a beautiful expression to highlight the simplicity of those who speak without thinking. 110% like? If you were to give 100% I'm pretty sure you'd die, as all of your body would be committed to whatever it would be you'd be giving 100% to, so you'd have no percents left to use for general survival (well, unless you were giving 100% to just surviving). Feel free to argue with me if you think otherwise. Maybe if you're on drugs its possible, as proved by Tom Simpson there. Amazing story if you've the time to read it.
Relating to Tom Simpson, who died while on his way to winning a Tour De France stage due to exhaustion, I was looking at all the people who've died in the Tour De France. Some crazy deaths ranging from drowning in a riveria on rest days, to highsiding a corner and plunging down a ravine, to just plain old impact upon crashing on a descent. Crazy, crazy men.



Saw this the other day, thought it was pretty cool -

What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%?

What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =98%

And

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But ,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 =100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 =103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.
Now you know why some people are where they are!

Saturday, 21 January 2012

Dangermen and Women of The Future & Whatever Else I Can Think Of



Lately I've just been trying to get my legs to sort themselves out. It's a bit of a drainer, as I enjoy riding my mountain-bike in forests and on mountains, not lying in my room stretching a couple of times a day, and rolling about on a foam roller. Guess you sometimes gotta do stuff you don't like to be able to be better at stuff you do like!

Hadn't been out on the MTB in a very, very long time but heard that Richie Byrne was organising a bit of a spin up in Djouce. Legs/knees still aren't working too well for me, but was getting tremendously bored of riding the turbo day in day out, so thought I'd see what sort of shape the lower limbs were in and if there would be any sense in heading down to Djouce. Stuck the slickest tyre I could find onto the bike and found the wettest field for a bit of sideways craic/serious leg testing.. To you that don't ride bicycles, yes, you unfortunate folk wasting your life away, you probably wont understand the entertainment that can be had from getting a bike sideways, but I'm afraid that's entirely your fault, so I'll not bother explaining what it's like. But basically, it's pure lethal.
Going up hills was like being on nature's very own turbo-trainer, just sitting there, pedalling like a loon, but still not going anywhere.. Only it's definitely a lot harder to fall off a turbo trainer. Definitely had some embarrasing trying to cycle up a hill in 3 inches of mud, coming to a stop and trying to spin out of it, then just falling over moments. This photo you see on your left, that was me trying to pedal up a hill, in a straight line. You can see how slick the field was from the marks in the ground, little dry tyre just wasn't for digging in. #easilyamused . Going downhill was obviously more craic. Good straight sideways moments, didn't take any photos as firstly I was otherwise occupied and secondly I'm sure you've all seen a field before, and if you haven't, there's two photos up above for your pleasure, I can send you some copies if you like.
Legs felt allright after that ride, so decided it'd be worth it to drive the 2 odd
hours down to Djouce and get a good spin in there. Djouce is an incredible place if you've never been there. I've only been there twice, but on the two occasions the sun's been beaming and it's been like I'm in France or something; the views are mad, along with the trails. The below photo'l hopefully be a bit more exciting than the above two, was really scraping the barrel for them..



In the above picture we'd actually just descended the waterfall you see there. Hardcore XC to the max. That's me in the fluorescent jersey, mummy told me to wear one in case I got lost. And it's waterproof, so it made riding down the waterfall a bit cosier. Big shout out to Green Oil for supplying all my chain lube and bike wash and stuff, it's all environmentally, made from coconut oil and nice things you'd normally put in your dinner, so all the fish in the waterfall weren't poisoned.

I've always fancied myself as a Dangerwoman of The Future so Richie's 'Dangermen and Women of The Future' spin seemed like fate itself was calling, so I jumped at the opportunity. The trails in Djouce are special. I'm not sure if it's because I just haven't got used to them yet so there's still a huge novelty factor, or if they are just genuinely amazing. They're not just plain old ride up a fireroad for hours, blast down a straight line downhill trail type jobs, they're proper xc twisty switchbacky pumpy jumpy floaty ones, you know what I mean? Definitely want to get down there a few more times this year, have a few technical skills I need to brush up on and that's definitely the place.

Spin was intended for U12s to U16s I think, so thought it'd be a good outing as I've currently only got the legs of an U12 rider. And I don't even say that as a joke, they were absolutely flying on the day! Some crazy talent we've got, elites is going to get packed pretty soon! There's a wee group photo down below for you.


Great day was had, some good craic with Conor Lavelle and Aaron McCann, and good to see everyone else, it gets wild lonely stuck at home on the turbo! Good to ride with Joe McCall too, man has some experience. Got a puncture, but that was the only bad part of the day, really must go tubeless. Rest of the day was sweet; good sunshine, good trails, good craic. Even managed to stay on two wheels all day which is a pretty big thing. Cheers Richie Byrne and all who turned up.



Plans for the next couple of days/weeks are just to keep at trying to get my knees fixed and start some training! Have a few 2020 dates and maybe a couple of other things, so will keep you's informed.
Monty, out.

Ps. If you're bored give Rynopower extreme sports monster making edible & drinkable stuff a look, oh and unless you're me mummy or daddy, follow me on twitter @davemont