Irish XC NPS 6, Davagh Forest

Today, some boys ran round a field, faffing around after a ball on tv, and falling over a bit. Closer to home, some boys sat on motorcross bikes, ploughed a field in Desertmartin and blew apart some old ladies' hearing aids. The real men, you'll have found in Davagh Forest, in a fearsome battle against every force mother nature could bring, armed only with some bottles of juice and a bicycle. Man vs. much mud and many midges. Heroes of war we should all be crowned, for just surviving.

As I finally scrape enough of Davagh Forest's finest mud out of what's left of my eyes to get two clear bits I can see through, I guess it's time to put some words down. I was told once that if you've a couple of sore bits, the body tends to pick up the worst pain most, and forget about the other ones. After punching my arm silly before going into the dentist's one day, coming out tail firmly between my legs: throbbing arm, some deadly painful holes were there used to be teeth, and an incredible vengeance at who-ever was winding me up, I was less than convinced. Only today did it strike me where I went wrong all those years ago: I needed a yellow bottle of 'midge repellent cream', that someone had used all up, then decided to keep their Hydrochloric Acid in. Who's was that? Boyyyy did it burn. Suddenly all the other niggles disappeared, my brain seemed much more concerned that the skin on my face was about to disappear too. I may stick to the Skin So Soft in future...

As I left the house, with only the directions on Carn Wheelers's website and my worse than awful sense of direction, I tapped 'Davagh Rd' into the Sat Nav... 'road not found'. Hmm. I'll try the next mentioned road. 'Sixtowns Rd'... 'road not found'. Technology, eh. This was looking good already!

We finally got up to Davagh late Saturday evening. Most of my family lives up around that end of the country, so I thought it'd be handier to get a lap in on Saturday, kip up at Granda's for the night, then scoot back over to Davagh in the morning for my day's bog snorkelling. At about 7.30pm, mother and myself pulled into an empty carpark in the furthest depths of nowhere's rear end, and Mum's expectations of a happy little camping village with lots of nice people on bikes milling about, fell faster than the Greek economy. Definitely a potential spot for a good scary movie. Didn't have contact lenses in, do have a box of 30 of them or something, but thought I'd save them to the big day, counting my pennies. While lying on my head in a bush in the first section, I decided it would've probably been better if I could see where I was going.

Looked at some fancy lines through the first section, tried riding them, fell off some more, and eventually just thought screw it, we'll probably still be congested by this stage so I'm not going to make or lose much time: ride the main line. Some technical climbs and descents round the rest of the track made for great fun, but it was a true hard-man's course, no let-up at all; pedal, pedal and pedal some more. Tyre choice was going to be a huge factor. Mud tyres seemed logical, for half the track was riding through bottomless bog, but then the other half of the track was smooth singletrack or fireroad. Oh what to do? Go with my worn out driest tyres obviously. Semi-slick Specialized Renegade on the front, kinda grippy Schwalbe Racing Ralph on the rear: it would be doing the steering.

Fast forward a bit to race day, woke up and the sky was still leaking; the track wasn't gonna be any drier anyway. Race was off at 2pm, so hopped on the turbo at about 1.45 and got some blood moving in the legs. Let out as much liquid weight as possible, and headed down to the line. Gridding got started for the mighty men of S2 and our Junior selves, and I was on the front row somehow, awesome. There was no pressure for a good start as the track had about a mile of fire road climbing before any singletrack suffering began. That said, I still did intend to put my foot into my pedal rather than the ground as the whistle went(or whatever they do to start the race, is it only me that honestly can't remember!?), but didn't quite get it in, so was about 20th before I knew it. 

Up the fireroad it was crazy as usual. People ducking and diving everywhere, one side of the road to the other, anywhere there was a gap, or they thought there was a gap, they'd jump into it. More times than not it was only in their imagination, resulting in the glorious tune of tyre buzzing and f'ing announcing our arrival. Men and mice separated, we hit the first bit of bog, through a puddle, or pond moreso, and then a slip and slide down til we hit the gravel singletrack. Would've loved to have been a spectator for that bit, boys everywhere and every shape. Thankfully there's not much else to do where I live than ride around fields, and most of the time it's raining, so I was well used to the terrain.

Got through the start loop and onto the main track, sitting in 5th or so at this stage. Unfortunately Moses was no-where to be seen as we neared the red sea, so we could do nothing but ride through it and hope for the best every lap. Pre-jumped into it and held on tight. Hit the thing so hard on my 3rd lap my front foot clipped out on the impact!

Still a couple of people infront of me, so put in a good effort to get by them to get to the trenches first in the hope I wouldn't lose too much time on my dry tyres. As promised, this bit was deadly. Was like nature's own turbo trainer, you could sit there and pedal as hard as you like and still make no ground. Only managed to clear the whole thing once in my 4 laps, but it was great fun just trying to keep the bike upright and moving in it. Back onto a fireroad descent, into 1st now.

After that I just held it steady and gave her the beans every time I caught a glance of an S1 rider on up the trail. Tried my best not to slack on the fireroads to ensure I was doing my dry tyres worthwhile. Many many slips and slides came and went, to be expected on that type of track. Brilliant fun had. All overshadowed by almost losing it on a super high speed but really tight little bit of gravel singletrack towards the end of the lap though. Must've been doing a solid 20mph as my front wheel caught the inside of the corner, front end started to fold, all my weight went over the front, rear end started to slide a lot, all the ingredients for the perfect face first smash. Thankfully my foot magically appeared and saved my life... and then got caught in the hedge and the whole thing started to happen again! Like there wasn't enough soil in my bib shorts already! Some great descents on the track though, most of them were fairly high speed slidey rooty bits, kept you on your toes.

One of the bridges in the boggy bit had no wire mesh on the first half of it. Front wheel popped on fine, this was going to be ok, back wheel on, go to pedal off it... ABORT! Feet were only starting to dry out a bit after the river crossing, then boom, both feet in half a foot of water and half a foot of muck below it. Need a better offroad diff installed! Eventually by the 4th lap I'd caught on that riding over them would be quicker than falling into them; eased off a bit and made it over. Just.

Caught me bud Matt Adair halfway round the last lap, so cruised with him in to the finish. Crossed the line for the last time, 1st S2 and 1st Junior, happy days. Matt was shouting at me to come for another lap, but as tempting as it was, I'm still carrying far too many injuries to be able to risk doing any more than required! Laughed at him having to drag his body round the battlefield for another lap, and took the much more inviting fire-road back to the car, to get some food.

Big thanks to Rynopower and the much needed Green Oil for the support. The bike cleaner was definitely of use! Thanks to Carn Wheelers for the class show they put on (lovely trophies too), Martin Grimley for keeping things running smoothly, all of the photographers, me mummy for taking me down, Brian Kellett for doing my bottles, everybody that moved over when I called 'rider up', all of S2 for leaving me alone, and Paddy and Stuart for a big hug on the podium. Oh and whoever supplied the box of bananas at the end can't be forgotten either, cheers!

Monty, out.

Dangermen and Women of The Future & Whatever Else I Can Think Of

Lately I've just been trying to get my legs to sort themselves out. It's a bit of a drainer, as I enjoy riding my mountain-bike in forests and on mountains, not lying in my room stretching a couple of times a day, and rolling about on a foam roller. Guess you sometimes gotta do stuff you don't like to be able to be better at stuff you do like!

Hadn't been out on the MTB in a very, very long time but heard that Richie Byrne was organising a bit of a spin up in Djouce. Legs/knees still aren't working too well for me, but was getting tremendously bored of riding the turbo day in day out, so thought I'd see what sort of shape the lower limbs were in and if there would be any sense in heading down to Djouce. Stuck the slickest tyre I could find onto the bike and found the wettest field for a bit of sideways craic/serious leg testing.. To you that don't ride bicycles, yes, you unfortunate folk wasting your life away, you probably wont understand the entertainment that can be had from getting a bike sideways, but I'm afraid that's entirely your fault, so I'll not bother explaining what it's like. But basically, it's pure lethal.
Going up hills was like being on nature's very own turbo-trainer, just sitting there, pedalling like a loon, but still not going anywhere.. Only it's definitely a lot harder to fall off a turbo trainer. Definitely had some embarrasing trying to cycle up a hill in 3 inches of mud, coming to a stop and trying to spin out of it, then just falling over moments. This photo you see on your left, that was me trying to pedal up a hill, in a straight line. You can see how slick the field was from the marks in the ground, little dry tyre just wasn't for digging in. #easilyamused . Going downhill was obviously more craic. Good straight sideways moments, didn't take any photos as firstly I was otherwise occupied and secondly I'm sure you've all seen a field before, and if you haven't, there's two photos up above for your pleasure, I can send you some copies if you like.
Legs felt allright after that ride, so decided it'd be worth it to drive the 2 odd
hours down to Djouce and get a good spin in there. Djouce is an incredible place if you've never been there. I've only been there twice, but on the two occasions the sun's been beaming and it's been like I'm in France or something; the views are mad, along with the trails. The below photo'l hopefully be a bit more exciting than the above two, was really scraping the barrel for them..



In the above picture we'd actually just descended the waterfall you see there. Hardcore XC to the max. That's me in the fluorescent jersey, mummy told me to wear one in case I got lost. And it's waterproof, so it made riding down the waterfall a bit cosier. Big shout out to Green Oil for supplying all my chain lube and bike wash and stuff, it's all environmentally, made from coconut oil and nice things you'd normally put in your dinner, so all the fish in the waterfall weren't poisoned.

I've always fancied myself as a Dangerwoman of The Future so Richie's 'Dangermen and Women of The Future' spin seemed like fate itself was calling, so I jumped at the opportunity. The trails in Djouce are special. I'm not sure if it's because I just haven't got used to them yet so there's still a huge novelty factor, or if they are just genuinely amazing. They're not just plain old ride up a fireroad for hours, blast down a straight line downhill trail type jobs, they're proper xc twisty switchbacky pumpy jumpy floaty ones, you know what I mean? Definitely want to get down there a few more times this year, have a few technical skills I need to brush up on and that's definitely the place.

Spin was intended for U12s to U16s I think, so thought it'd be a good outing as I've currently only got the legs of an U12 rider. And I don't even say that as a joke, they were absolutely flying on the day! Some crazy talent we've got, elites is going to get packed pretty soon! There's a wee group photo down below for you.


Great day was had, some good craic with Conor Lavelle and Aaron McCann, and good to see everyone else, it gets wild lonely stuck at home on the turbo! Good to ride with Joe McCall too, man has some experience. Got a puncture, but that was the only bad part of the day, really must go tubeless. Rest of the day was sweet; good sunshine, good trails, good craic. Even managed to stay on two wheels all day which is a pretty big thing. Cheers Richie Byrne and all who turned up.



Plans for the next couple of days/weeks are just to keep at trying to get my knees fixed and start some training! Have a few 2020 dates and maybe a couple of other things, so will keep you's informed.
Monty, out.

Ps. If you're bored give Rynopower extreme sports monster making edible & drinkable stuff a look, oh and unless you're me mummy or daddy, follow me on twitter @davemont

Green Oil Kit Has Arrived

It may have taken a while to get this length, but to be fair to Mr Green Oil he's been on BBC News with this stuff lately so I guess he had more important things on his mind than getting my kit in the post!

Today the Parcelfarce van rolled up the drive and a fairly shabby looking box landed in through the door. Looked a bit like they couldn't find a football for their tea-break and booted this around instead. Cheers boys.
Once I had completed the completely pointless exercise of trying to fit something that looks even remotely like your own signature into the handheld computer thing the postymen have, I got my hands on the box. I ended up sending the postman away with a scribble that not even a dyslexic one year old fish would be proud of, although I'd answered the door with only one holey(not holy..) sock on as I was in the middle of putting me socks on when the doorbell rang, so I'd imagine with the overall appearance I was going for, he wasn't terribly surprised with my attempt at a signature. Art, I shall call it...


Got the box opened and this was what was inside. Looks pretty sick it's gotta be said.



Huge thanks to Green Oil for supporting me this year, looking forward to working with them.
Take a look at their website - http://www.green-oil.net/

Monty.